A few weeks ago I attended a women’s bible study. As we discussed the fruit of the spirit, “goodness,” we dove into the scriptures. One of them being, Psalm 23:5

“He will prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (Psalm 23:5)

As we chewed on this passage of scripture, there was a particular phrase that stood out to me. Actually, it reached out and grabbed me by the gut, is more like it.

“He prepares a table for me in the presence of my enemies.”

 

That part is worth repeating!

 

“He prepares a table for me IN THE PRESENCE OF my enemies.”

 

Catch that? In the presence of. Not in the absence of.

 

That immediately caught my attention, and I took it home and meditated on it for days.

Chewed on it.

Wrestled with it.

I’ve been walking with God long enough to know that when the Holy Spirit causes a piece of scripture to jump off the page, there is something more that He wants me to see; to take notice of.

A fresh revelation He longs to impart.

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October is Pastor Appreciation month. This is the one time a year the congregation rallies together to show their beloved pastor their appreciation.

But the question is, is it really deserved?

I recall a conversation I had with a gentleman recently about this very subject. The gentleman argued that Pastor Appreciation month was unnecessary; in fact he found it to be offensive even. His opinion was based on the fact that no other profession dedicates a whole month to showing employee appreciation. Therefor why should pastors be any different? What was it about being a pastor that made them more deserving than the rest?

While I understand this sentiment, at least to some degree, I must say that I strongly disagree with his overall thought process.

Though I’m certainly not a pastor, and while I’ve never been married to one, I have served closely beside a few, in my lifetime. In fact, several of them have become good friends! As a result, I’ve had the opportunity to see, up close and personal, some of the many tasks required of pastors in the church today. It’s quite possibly one of the more taxing professions there is.

 

Pastoral Duties: What Exactly DOES He Do?

Contrary to popular belief, a pastor does not merely work only one day a week. His job does not simply consist of writing an hour-long sermon to preach on Sunday morning, and then sit back and relax the rest of the week.

Not in the slightest.

A pastor’s job is SO much more. The work of a pastor is unique. It requires someone who is bold, strong and confident, but at the same time, caring, supportive and humble. He needs to have thick skin in order to stand up under the weight of criticism, but still exude a heart of compassion where necessary.

The work of a pastor is emotionally draining, and physically exhausting. Ministry work is not for the faint of heart. Pastors must know and believe that they are called to the ministry, because it is in that knowing that they will find the strength to keep going. Especially on the tough days. Of which there are many.

Their’s is often a thankless job. They carry the weight of others’ expectations daily on their shoulders. And there is always someone who is unhappy about something. Whether it be the volume of the worship, the outdated church decor, the length of his sermons, the lack of programs, the size of the building, or that he failed to acknowledge so and so’s presence on Sunday morning.

And that’s only the menial stuff.

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Today has been one of those days.

You know the kind I’m talking about.

The kind of day that leaves you feeling overwhelmed, stressed, anxious and doubtful.

The kind that zaps you of your strength and threatens to steal your joy.

The sort of day that leaves you both mentally and physically exhausted.

And nearly robs you of your sanity and the will to fight.

Yeah, THAT kind of a day!

 

Allow me to paint you a picture.

I woke up this morning feeling rejuvenated after a decent night’s sleep. I ran the list of must-do’s through my mind. Full of energy and fresh perspective at the dawn of a new day, I thought to myself, today will be a good day.

 

And then I got out of bed.

 

The day didn’t necessarily start out poorly. I poured myself a cup of coffee, made the littles some breakfast, read my morning devotional, and picked up my laptop to prepare our school work for the day.

That’s when it began.

Nothing but problems. First with the internet, and then with the software. I wrestled with the likes of technology for over an hour, until finally it relented.

The children and I spent four and a half, grueling hours of fully supervised time on school work, before we could alas, call it a day.

Understand, this is not normally the case. Typically the children are able to tackle their school work rather independently. However on this day in particular, they needed me present during every minute of those four hours, as I bounced back and forth between kids.

Talk about mental fatigue!

 

And wouldn’t you know it. Here she comes, waltzing in through the back door- Doubt.

She rears her ugly head from time to time. Her voice has an uncanny familiarity.

Did I make the right choice about home-schooling the kids?

What was I possibly thinking? I can’t do this!

I must have been crazy to think that I could possibly care for a newborn baby, keep up on housework, maintain a healthy diet, write a thoughtful blog, AND home school my children!

I may have had a momentary lapse in sound judgment.

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A few weeks ago I received a phone call from a dear friend of mine.

It was early in the morning, which led me to think that there might be something wrong.

 

There was.

 

My friend calmly stated that she had been praying for me that morning, and felt it impressed upon her heart to call.

She explained that she had detected some distance and disconnect in our relationship, and wanted to get to the bottom of it so that we could resume our friendship as usual.

 

She wasn’t sure when it started or how it began, but she was desperate to clear the air, if in fact there was something that she had done to cause it.

 

I thanked her for her concern and assured her that there was nothing that she had done to hurt or offend me.

And I meant it.

Both relieved, we casually continued our conversation as usual, and we made plans to reconnect soon.

 

That was the end of it.

 

Except that it wasn’t.

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Do you ever feel like God is silent?

“And after the fire, there was the sound of a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his scarf and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.” (1 Kings 19:13)

 

Lately, I’ve been having a hard time hearing God’s voice- as though He is playing the silent game with me.

The same game we try to trick our kids into playing while in the car, to afford us a few moments of much-needed peace and quiet!

You know the one.

The only difference is, I don’t want to play.

I don’t want God to be silent. I want Him to speak. I need him to speak.

But sometimes it seems that He chooses silence anyway.

 

Do you ever feel that way?

 

You’re not alone. I recently had a conversation with a dear friend of mine about this very subject. She too has been feeling like she has to strain to hear God’s voice.

My friend and I carried on our conversation for several minutes- venting, questioning, relating, processing, and encouraging- the way good friends do. And in the midst of our conversation, I had an epiphany of sorts.

Maybe straining to hear God’s voice isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe it’s quite the opposite.

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