Y’all the busyness of this season has me like whaaaaat?!?!

We literally JUST said goodbye to November, and hello to December, and ALREADY I am feeling the overwhelm!

You too?

Let me give you a quick synopsis of my crazy right now…

Today alone, I have a mound of laundry to fold and put away. And more laundry to wash. Thus starting the vicious, unending cycle all over again. Isn’t that the exact definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results? Lord, help me…

I have a kitchen disaster awaiting my attention from the night before, when we were all too tired to worry about the mess. Yet seeing as I am the only adult home during the day, I am the only one experiencing the long-term effects of our hasty decision to forego cleaning the night before. Go figure.

I have 3 not-so-fun phone calls to make:

• One to the insurance company about the school bus that sideswiped my van while I was picking the kids up from school.
• Another to the credit card company who called to inform me that there was suspicious activity on my account that requires my immediate attention.
• And another to our health insurance who just sent us a bill for an OBSCENE amount, directly after we just paid the existing balance to zero.

For the love…

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I have a confession to make.

I have a tendency to be a people-pleaser. I often do things because I think it’s what is expected of me, not necessarily because I feel strongly about it.

In the blogging community, we are inundated with expectations.

-Expected to write meaningful essays that meet a specific need within our audience.

-Expected to meet deadlines.

-Expected to build relationships.

-Expected to be consistent.

-Expected to make lasting impressions.

So on and so forth.

With the holidays quickly approaching, I began to feel the weight of expectation once again.

Beginning somewhere in mid-October, my newsfeed became overpopulated with articles written on the topic of Thanksgiving. So I assumed I should probably do the same.

And I tried.

I thought long and hard. I tapped in to my memory bank. I made a plan.

I added specific themes to my idea book. I read similar articles on the topic for inspiration. I even researched the word, thanksgiving in order to gain a deeper understanding of its meaning.

I studied the scriptures, and meditated on verses about giving thanks, especially in the Psalms.

And I prayed. A lot. Everyday.

But I had nothing. NOTHING.

Each time I tried to put my pen to paper, (or in this case, my fingers to keyboard), I drew a blank.

How is it I can’t seem to write about a holiday designated to giving thanks? I thought to myself.

It’s not as if I’m not thankful. On the contrary, I have MUCH to be thankful for! I know this. So, what is my problem?

“Why is this so hard?” I asked aloud.

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“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8)

I awoke to the stench of smoke wafting through my bedroom windows.

It’s not unusual for the neighbors to have a bonfire that lasts well into the night, so I wasn’t too concerned initially.

I kicked off my blanket and sluggishly walked towards the stairwell, preparing to make my descent, when I noticed a thin layer of grey dust covering the banister.

Slightly perplexed, I continued down the stairs, unsure of what I might find.  

Although there didn’t appear to be a reason for alarm, something felt off.

The morning sky was hazier than usual, and the moon looked sinister; adorned in colors of red and orange.

After a closer look, I realized that the same “grey dust” that covered the stairwell banister, coated the grass like a mantle. Ash.

It was ash!

I scrolled frantically through my phone. My newsfeed was crowded with posts from friends who spoke about a forest fire, set ablaze, in my hometown’s backyard.

Unreal!

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A few weeks ago I attended a women’s bible study. As we discussed the fruit of the spirit, “goodness,” we dove into the scriptures. One of them being, Psalm 23:5

“He will prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (Psalm 23:5)

As we chewed on this passage of scripture, there was a particular phrase that stood out to me. Actually, it reached out and grabbed me by the gut, is more like it.

“He prepares a table for me in the presence of my enemies.”

That part is worth repeating!

“He prepares a table for me IN THE PRESENCE OF my enemies.”

Catch that? In the presence of. Not in the absence of.

That immediately caught my attention, and I took it home and meditated on it for days.

Chewed on it.

Wrestled with it.

I’ve been walking with God long enough to know that when the Holy Spirit causes a piece of scripture to jump off the page, there is something more that He wants me to see; to take notice of.

A fresh revelation He longs to impart.

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