Choosing Love in the Wake of Rejection
Choosing Love in the Wake of Rejection: 7 Biblical Ways to Respond to the Sting of Rejection. #rejectionhurts #lovewins Share on X
There I sat, in a cold, sterile office seated across from two prominent figures in the church.
My husband sat next to me, his hand on my knee, offering me the only comfort he possibly could in that moment- his gentle touch. As if to say, “I know. I heard. I am with you.”
The room was spinning. I tried frantically to grasp the reality of what my ears had just heard.
My hands held tight to each other- gripping. Afraid to let go, because if I did, I might come undone.
I shivered. Was it the cold room? Or her icy stare from across the table?
Sobbing profusely, I clung to the tear-soaked tissues, which if wrung out, would fill a small cup.
Time stood still. In reality it had only been a few minutes, but it felt like an eternity.
My friend sat opposite of me at the table; stone-faced.
Staring.
Waiting.
Her silence coaxing me to respond.
But how do you respond to someone who has just told you, in her words, all the reasons for her pent-up resentment towards you?
I felt alone, exposed, raw and far more vulnerable than I am comfortable with.
The pain of rejection was sharp.
For the following days, weeks, and months I struggled to wrap my mind around the events of that night.
My memory was like a cruel tape stuck on replay. I must have relived the assault on my heart a thousand times over.
It never got easier.
So much confusion.
Why hadn’t she come to me sooner?
We could have met over a warm cup of coffee, like we had done many times before. Out of love and mutual respect, we would talk openly- honestly. Maybe have a good cry, exchange hugs, and keep our friendship intact.
But there was little hope of that now.
The hurt ran deep…
Please join me at Living By Design, where I am honored to be writing for Sarah Koontz this week!
{Continue reading >>> Choosing Love in the Wake of Rejection.}
And for related topics, read >>> Learning to Love the Unlovely<<<
Beautiful and true words. This is always such a difficult situation.
Thank you. 🙂
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I did not see a place to leave a comment on Sarah’s site, so I wanted to return here and leave you a comment, Rachel. Thank you for the sincerity and honesty that you’ve shared in this post. I cannot imagine what you were feeling at that time, but you drew an excellent picture of what you were feeling. I love the biblical insights you share when dealing with the painful rejection of a friend. My current book I am writing deals with pain so some you the scriptures you reference are quite familiar to me. I love the passage from Isaiah 53. What a poignant reminder of what Christ has done for us and the suffering he experienced in our place. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts and thanks to my dear friend, Sarah as well. May God continue to bless both of you and your families in all your endeavors.
Thank you Horace for your kind words. It’s helpful to know that purpose can come from our pain. And yes- Christ’s sacrifice- how can we ever truly understand the depth of His sorrow? Makes me love Him all the more.
I appreciate your thoughtful comment, friend. Blessings to you!
Rachel, my heart hurts for you in this, as I have been through much the same. Someone who had been a very dear friend, out of nowhere did something very similar.
Shannon, I’m so very sorry. It hurts. My prayers are with you..
Rachel, I couldn’t let a note on Sarah’s so I cam back to leave a comment. I am sorry for the pain you went through. Rejection is never easy, but when it comes from someone close to us, it makes it worse. Thank you for the scriptures you shares and I love the title you chose – choosing love in the wake of rejection – yes, choosing love even in those times takes away the enemies ammunition. Blessings
Very true, Debbie! Love is a powerful thing, and it NEVER fails!!
I hopped over and read your post, Rachel and am so glad I did! You’ve shared some wonderful insights that I know could only be learned in the crucible of pain and hurt. Most of all, I love how you point us back to the love of the Savior. He makes all the difference! I’m pinning and sharing both here and there!
Thank you Beth! You’re words (and support) truly bless me! 🙂
Thank you for sharing this much-needed post. Oh, it’s hard to forgive. Your transparency and compassionate words are beautiful, and I love the firm grasp of Scriptural truth! Keep writing!
I have been in a very similar situation. It was one of the most painful words anyone has ever spoken to me, and it took years to learn how to forgive (mostly because that wasn’t a stand-alone conversation with this person – the attacks kept coming). I’m so thankful for how I can find my identity in God and not in what others say! Enjoyed being your neighbor on #MomentsofHope today. 🙂
This blog was amazing. I loved the transparency and that you not only shared what you had been through, but have Bible verses to help others dealing with the same thing. God bless you! You’re an amazing writer!
Rejection is never easy and when it feels like there is no hope for reconciliation it makes forgiveness seem near impossible. I love how you said it takes two to tango. Sometimes the other refuses to reconcile and you have no control over that. I love the wisdom and authenticity in this piece. Thank you!
I have been there. It’s so very painful. But your tips are great! Relational pain is worse than any other kind for someone as relational as myself, but God can shine through it if we handle it according to his laws. laurensparks.net
Rachel, I saw this in another place, so I’ve shared it twice. It needs to be shared a lot. You’ve done an amazing job of putting into words your painful experience. That is hard to do, I know. I’m learning that rejection is a part of life that we all have to go through, some of us more than others; but, it’s never easy. It reminds me of what Jesus went through and how He is our only Rock and source of encouragement. Thank you for sharing! God bless you!
Rejection is tough to face. And gosh, I felt my insides tighten a bit reading your story. How difficult it must have been to walk through that situation. You’ve offered solid, solid steps to face and walk beyond rejection, however. Excellent! #faithonfire
Amen!
What a good word, Rachel!
Rejection is so tough, and I love how you have offered such practical and positive advice for when you face it.
Blessed by you~
Melanie
Thank you very much.Sometimes I may feel rejected,but to move on with life has required me to forgive.Will be praying more.
This is beautiful. Wounds in the church run so deep. It is easy to hold on to them. I love each of the suggestions you gave, including searching for how I could have played a part in the whole process. It’s so easy to dismiss those who have offended us all together, but we can always learn something from the experience. And you are right that we must remember to pray because God has a plan for them to should they choose to accept it.
Thank you for your venerability and truth in this post. I know the feeling of rejection and it can stick with you longer than you think. Your seven scriptures tie the post together beautifully.
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