Finding Hope After Pregnancy Loss

Guest Post by Amber Douglas

Do you believe that there is hope after pregnancy loss?

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.” ~Isaiah 55:8 ESV

As humans, we all go through things that we may never understand this side of heaven. Life can seem full of things that seem unfair.

Some people get diagnosed with terminal illnesses, while others lose loved ones earlier than it seems they should.

For me, one of those seemingly unfair things in life had to do with pregnancies.

My husband and I had been married for three years before I became pregnant. I remember that morning taking the test and then waiting nervously for the results to appear.

In my mind, there was no way that I was pregnant. After all, I had taken tests numerous times before, and they had never been positive, even though the symptoms were there. What would make this time different?

Except, this time was different..

A Celebratory Result

Very hesitantly, I grabbed the test to see the results. I didn’t expect much. However, as my eyes focused in on the words on the test, tears began to flood my eyes.

Pregnant.

I dropped to the floor, crying tears of joy as I was overwhelmed.

After I composed myself, I immediately went to tell my husband. Not long after, we called and told everyone in our immediate and extended family within the day that we were expecting.

We weren’t good at containing our excitement, and before we knew it, everyone knew and was celebrating with us.

A Sudden Ending to a Fairytale Beginning

A few short weeks later, when we were enjoying our anniversary dinner, I sensed that something was not quite right with the pregnancy.

I told my husband that I needed to go to the hospital.

At the hospital, my suspicions were confirmed. After much poking and prodding and testing, I was told that I had lost the baby.

My heart sank. Why? Why did this happen to me? It seemed so unfair.

The doctor tried to console me by assuring me that there was nothing I did to cause it, and nothing I could have done to prevent it.

I found very little comfort in that.

The Unsettling Reminders

I had to follow up with my doctor shortly after. He was a very old school doctor and didn’t believe in performing surgery if it could be avoided. Instead, he insisted that I finish out the miscarriage process naturally.

Meanwhile, he insisted that I return every Tuesday for blood work to ensure that my HCG numbers were dropping. As they dropped, that meant that my body was properly disposing of all of the pregnancy tissue.

Every Tuesday I was reminded that I had lost my baby.

The miscarriage had started at the end of November. In January, my HCG numbers still had not returned to normal.

My Miraculous Healing

I had to go out of town for a few weeks, which meant no monitoring of my numbers. It was during this time that I began dealing with infection setting up in my body. I started having cold sweats and immense abdominal cramps, as my body was trying to rid itself of the remaining tissue.

My husband made me lay in bed all day so I wouldn’t pass out while standing up.

One evening, we went to a revival service at our church. The evangelist who was preaching the revival hadn’t known that I had a miscarriage. Afterall, we were out of state and I didn’t exactly go around boasting of my loss.

He came up to me as I discreetly held a heating, pad of sorts, on my lower abdomen, making sure to cover it over with my jacket. The evangelist told me that I had infection in my body, and he immediately began praying for me.

It was from that moment that the infection started going away.

In early February when we returned home, I made my usual visit to my doctor for blood work. He confirmed that my numbers had finally dropped below the point of needing monitoring.

I no longer had to make weekly visits.

God’s Care for the Wounded Heart

I remember after initially finding out that we were losing our baby, it seemed like everywhere I looked there were babies, or pregnant women in our midst. Talk about pouring salt in my wound!

I know that others have endured things that seem far more heartbreaking or difficult than what I was going through. But to me, this obstacle was insurmountable.

I dealt with depression for a long time, not even realizing it. I would think I was fine, and then something would hit me suddenly, making all the hurt come rushing back in.

A few months after the initial loss, I found myself sitting in a conference service. I was still struggling but trying to put on a good face.

A woman, whom I love dearly, but didn’t know about our recent circumstances, came up to me during service and said, “God wants to heal your heart.”

Oh, how I needed that! I needed to know that there is still a reason to hope after pregnancy loss.

I began to sob, as she prayed with me. From that moment things got easier.
I still didn’t understand why I had to go through that, but I knew that God was still good and He still cared about me and my heart.

Even in the unknowns, I knew that God was still good, and that He still cared about me and my wounded heart. #PregnancyLoss #HeartBroken via @thereallifechr1 Share on X

God’s Redeeming Love

The following July, my husband and I discovered that we were expecting again. This time, almost as soon as we found out we were expecting, we found out we were losing the baby again.

We still didn’t enjoy the feeling of loss but we knew that God had brought us through the first one, and so He could bring us through this one too.

The end of August, we found out we were expecting a third time. We hadn’t told anyone yet. However, while we were sitting in a Tuesday night church service, the Spirit of God was thick, and during the worship, I began having those pains that were all too familiar by this point.

I cried out, “God, please no. Not again. My heart can’t take it.”

Almost immediately, the woman on piano stopped the music and said, “Am I not able to keep that which I promised to deliver unto you?”

God had heard my pleas. The cramping stopped immediately. I went on to have what seemed to be the easiest pregnancy and delivery ever!

I now get to hold my beautiful little girl in my arms.

She is quickly growing up, and doesn’t stay still for nearly as long, now that she is almost three. Yet every time I look at her, I am reminded how God redeemed my pain and loss by giving her to me.

The Faithfulness of God

I wish I could say that with having her, I no longer dealt with pregnancy loss. But I can’t say that.

Just last year, I found out I was pregnant again. My husband and I only told our immediate family, so they could help me if I needed it. I was approx eleven weeks pregnant, and already beginning to show this time around.

During a church service on a Sunday night, I remember exhorting to another sister in the faith of how good God was and how faithful He was.

The next morning, I woke to run to the restroom, only to find that my pregnancy had ended… again.

I was devastated.

My husband’s family took care of my daughter, so I could lay down and rest that day. Thinking about it after the fact, I think of how I was so close to the ending of the first trimester.

I didn’t then, and still don’t understand why God allowed me to carry that pregnancy as far as I did, only to lose my baby in the end. However, I’m reminded that my ways are not God’s ways.

My circumstances don’t define who my God is.

He is unchanging. And He is still good, even when my circumstances are not. He is faithful in caring about the little things. And there is still HOPE after pregnancy loss, despite my current circumstances.

My circumstances don't define who my God is. He is still good, even when my circumstances are not. #PregnancyLoss #StoriesOfHope via @thereallifechr1 Share on X

Choosing to Trust in the Face of Uncertainty

I still may not understand why we must go through certain things, but I know that God can redeem these things for His purposes and kingdom.

He tells in scripture that He works all things together for our good.

• Since the three instances of pregnancy loss, I have had a platform to share from, over and over.

• I can be honest and vulnerable in a way that people who haven’t even endured pregnancy loss can understand and be ministered too.

• God has taught me that it’s not always about having it all together. Sometimes, others need to see how we deal with the things that should crush us and break us.

These are the moments that speak volumes about one’s Christian character and relationship with God.

Dear woman, there is always hope after pregnancy loss. I pray that you will find a bit of that hope here too.

Prayer for Today:

God,
I thank you that even when I don’t understand my circumstances, you are still the same. You don’t change. You are good and faithful. I can trust that your ways are higher than my ways. You have my best interest at heart. I can rest assured that you care about my heart and can offer emotional healing. God thank you for redeeming circumstances that were not very enjoyable and using them for your glory. Help me to continue to trust you even when I don’t understand why I may be having to go through something. And God, I pray for peace in those moments that my circumstances are not desirable. Help me to keep my trust in you.

In Jesus name,
Amen.

To view all of the topics in this series, check out our Stories of Hope page, and discover how others have chosen to live a life of hope, despite life’s greatest challenges!

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Amber Douglas is the founder of The Real Life Christian.
She focuses on trying to shed an honest light on the daily struggles of being a Christian, and how we overcome them.

She is married to her husband, Clayton Douglas, of seven years, and they share a beautiful almost three year old. They travel with his family as part of a music and evangelistic ministry touring the United States. They go by the name, The Douglas Band.

In her downtime, Amber focuses on sharing the Gospel message online in a way that is not only understandable, but also compelling and convicting, so that individuals might come to know Jesus for themselves.

You can connect with Amber in any one of the places below:
Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | Pinterest

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