Guest Post by Marie Gregg
“He gives the childless woman a household,
making her the joyful mother of children.
Hallelujah!”
(Psalm 113:9 CSB)
Is there such a thing as having hope in infertility?
“Are you really a woman if you can’t have a baby?”
I’ve been asked this question, in one form or another, many times. It’s on the rude end of the spectrum, and I admit to responding with equal rudeness on occasion. But mostly, I get it. The general assumption, especially within the Christian community, is that woman equals one who gives birth.
This is God’s design..
“You must have sinned in a major way. God must be mad at you.”
The bolder sort move from the question to these assertions, which never fails to leave me wondering what Bible people are reading. The God I know is the essence of grace, love and truth. He is not vindictive. He doesn’t engage in tit-for-tat. Can you imagine if He did? We’d all be lost.
This, my friend, is why we must know our theology well.
We Are Not Alone in Our Suffering
Though we are Revelation 21 people, constantly looking forward and into the hope of renewal and restoration, we continue to live in a Genesis 3 world.
We are not immune to the devastation of curse and sin. Every atom, and all the tiny parts, known and unknown, contained within, became twisted at the first bite of forbidden fruit. The entire world changed, exploded, shifted. We, today, live in the decay, picking a path through the rubble.
Praise Jesus that we do not go it alone! In the tension of the already and not-yet, we see flashes of His kingdom, glittering and glorious, every time we take a step of obedience.
And in the times when we run from obedience, but grace chases after. With eyes refreshed by the Spirit’s perspective, we see the better and the good. We keep going. Keep moving.
This does not mean that pain is removed.
This is, instead, the pressing onward, even in the pain. This is the gritty kind of faith that bursts to fiery life during the dark night of the soul.
Finding the Hope in Infertility
I did not ask for infertility. I did not seek to have a hysterectomy at what my surgeon described as “an incredibly young age.” I did not long for disease to invade my body, robbing me of energy, plans and time.
Who would issue requests for such things? None of us wish to suffer. None of us desire to be different, to be left on the outside of common experiences.
I look down at the scars left by the scalpel. Two little white dots. All that’s left of the cutting and the scraping.
I see Jesus in them.
Hardly can I claim to be a super-spiritual saint. I know myself far too well to ever put such a false front out there. What I can claim, however, is a level of fascination with and love for my Savior that I may not have otherwise developed without these trials. THIS is our hope in infertility.
While I am not smart enough to be able to untangle the mysterious dance of God’s will and human will, I do know that, though He did not cause me to be infertile, He has used the experience, and that of pain in general, to draw me to Himself.
There are doubts. There are tears. And there are wrestlings. But over and over and over again, He shows Himself faithful.
Our Heart Cry in Barrenness
Psalm 113 is commonly sung before the Passover meal. This means that, on the night He was betrayed, Jesus raised His voice in praise to the Father. He knew what pain was coming. He understood all that was about to happen to Him. And yet, He sang.
Pause for a moment and imagine the depth of emotion in His voice. Just before the washing of feet, the breaking of bread, the lifting of the cup. A sacrifice of song, offered before He willingly laid Himself upon the altar – for you and for me.
Commenting on this passage, Charles Spurgeon wrote:
“When no hand but His can help,
He interposes, and the work is done.
It is worthwhile to be cast down
to be so divinely raised from the dust.”
Spurgeon was able to write that because he understood suffering intimately. The prince of preachers waged a lifelong battle with depression that was at times so crippling he couldn’t get out of bed. He chose to follow the example of Christ. He chose to sing, even as his heart was breaking and his mind swam in a sea of tears.
This is what you and I must learn to do. Those of us who can’t bear children need not pretend there is no struggle, but we must also not allow the struggle to swallow us whole.
Childless? Or Brimming with Life?
There is work that we, beloved daughters of the Most High, are uniquely positioned to accomplish. We are the women who come alongside, speaking hope and life into the souls of all we encounter. Our arms are not wrapped around one child, but many children.
We are the aunties, the mentors, the second mothers. We have the privilege of empowering, encouraging, interceding and uplifting.
Yes, privilege. Honor, even. Because God is so very good, and fills up whatever is lacking, clear to the brim and overflowing.
No, I do not have a child. Instead, I have more than 20, ranging from just a year old to graduating high school in a few short weeks. I have the joy of pouring into their lives on a regular basis.
I share their smiles and their tears, their accomplishments and their failures. Thousands of inside jokes, nicknames and hours spent in conversation, both of the serious and silly variety.
I have been tackled, had snowballs lobbed at me, engaged in lip sync battles, slept on church floors, sat through elementary school graduation ceremonies, endured frigid showers, been exposed to to music that will never be my jam, received artwork I can’t interpret, and listened, wrapped in wonder, as they share their hopes and dreams.
Because, simply, I love them. Every one.
Yes, God is good, always and forever. He has given me a household. He has made me the joyful mother of children. Hallelujah!
Prayer:
Lord, today I ask that You grant new perspective to those who are unable to have children. Help them not to deny the sorrow, but to express it within the bounds of Your loving presence. Teach them to see the many wonderful blessings in every hour, the ones nobody ever thinks to look for on their own. Help them to see that there IS hope in infertility. Your plans are good, because You are good. May we recognize this truth and stand upon it in faith. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
To view all of the topics in this series, check out our Stories of Hope page, and discover how others have chosen to live a life of hope, despite life’s greatest challenges!
Marie Gregg lives somewhere in the Pacific Northwest with her husband and a neurotic weiner dog. When she isn’t writing, you can find her either napping or chasing teenagers around.
Her passion is to teach Scripture, that others many come to know and love the Lord in, around and behind the text, for this is what has sustained her.
Find her online: Along the Way // Facebook // Instagram // Twitter
Let’s Link Arms by Linking Up!
- Linkup 1-2 inspiring, family-friendly, posts using the Inlinkz tool below.
- Visit the link directly in front of you, leave a comment and share/pin their post.
- PRAY for the person directly in front of you!!
Marie, this is a beautiful post and perspective. May God bless you as you bless so many others whose lives you are involved.
Thank you, Joanne! Yesterday I got to embrace five of my “kids” as we celebrated Easter. My heart was so full of light and love. God is good, all the time!
this is the best spell caster i know He cast spells for different purposes like(1) If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dream
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) HIV/AIDS CURE
(10) is the only answer to that your problem of winning the lottery
Contact him today on oseremenspelltemple@gmail.com
I just want the whole world to know about this spell caster I met two weeks ago,I cannot say everything he has done for me and my family I was going through online when I meant this wonderful man’s testimony online how he won a lottery through the help of dr Ose I decided to just give it a try and my life is back to me now after i lost my job due to covid he gave me a winning numbers to play lottery and i won 5000usd for my first play since then i have been working with him and he has been giving me numbers to play my lottery i can not write everything he has done for me if you need a lottery spell today contact him on oseremenspelltemple@gmail.com www.facebook.com/Dr-odion-spell-temple-110513923938220
whatsapp +2348136482342
Currently walking thru this with my sister. Thank you for this thoughtful post. laurensparks.net
Lauren, I love that you used the words “walking through.” Your sister does not have to remain stuck in a place of despair and heartache. I believe that God has something truly good in mind for her life, and He may very well use you to bring some of that good.
Marie, your passion for your Savior spills out in your words. Your desire to pour Christ into your children spills out in your words. I’m sure that you are etched into the hearts of so many and no doubt there will be many many more. ❤️
Oh, April, you bless me! They are definitely etched onto my heart. Thank you for this encouragement!
Love the Psalm you shared! This was such a great article.
Thank you, Amanda! I love the psalms. Every emotion that we could ever feel, laid bare in the safe presence of God. The psalms give us permission to struggle even as they point us toward hope. So good!
What a beautiful, positive, encouraging post. You have touched the lives of women today. and enriched the lives of so many children. Thank you for sharing this personal story.
Thank you, Laurie, for reading and commenting! My prayer is that women like me will come away from this piece knowing that our Savior is always good, as are His plans. He does far more than we can ask or imagine. Blessings!
I’ve said it before, but I am just so incredibly in love with the encouragement and HOPE you offer in this post! Perspective changes everything. No, it doesnt make it easy per se, or take away the sorrow initially, but it does bring light and joy into an otherwise hopeless diagnosis. Thank you for shining the light of Jesus! May He grant you many more blessings as you continue to pour into those He has given you! ❤️
Thank you so much for giving me space to share, Rachel! May you find yourself experiencing God’s love for you in a tangible, unique way today. He is pleased with your faithful obedience!
How redeeming to see Jesus in your scars! That’s a beautiful perspective that we all can seek to emulate, whatever our scars are.
Amen, Lisa! So often we think to look for God only in what is beautiful, but He is also there in the ugly and the difficult. And I am so, so thankful that He is!
What a beautiful story of God’s faithfulness through such a hard season. We walked through loss after loss until God showed me motherhood was not always biological children. Now I love to teach Sunday school, mentor our youth and help young women as they begin careers. There is so much more out there and so much love needed all around!
“…motherhood was not always biological children.”
Exactly this, Tiffany! We never know what God will do with what seems to be irreparably broken. If we learn to keep our eyes open and trust in His goodness, even when it hurts, we’ll begin to see the grace unfold. Blessings!
Marie – You are a precious soul. I am so glad you have found your way to be a mother to the many. It makes my eyes brim with tears. I wish my children would have had you in their life growing up.
It really does take a village to raise a child. Each person who is willing to step in has tremendous value.
Now, I know this does not take away your pain of infertility and I am sorry for your pain. Thank you for showing us in the midst of our expectations, grief, and pain we can find God’s will and faithfulness.
Thank you so much, Maree, for this gracious and lovely comment! You blessed me tonight.
Thank you for this. I am in the same boat. We found out a little too late that having a baby was just about out of the question. It was difficult to internalize. But I too find comfort in the fact that God is still using my life, just in a different way. I have more time to be an attentive aunt and youth group leader. I take great joy in both roles.
Yes, Summer! God truly does redeem the losses. He truly does make beauty out of the ashes. (And isn’t youth group the most fun, and also exhausting, thing ever? I love it!)
Hi, did you know there are spells to win love back from an ex. I have done it. I love reading about relationships and how to make them work, how to better the relationship, and how to keep the spark alive, even how to talk to them a certain way to get them to think a different way about the situation and you. If you need advice or want to win your ex back, try DR EMU copy and message on the following ( Email: emutemple@gmail.com ) or ( WhatsApp: +2347012841542 ) It will change your mentality and get you what you want.
Hello everyone, I am from Wembley, Britain. I want to write this testimony to tell others and thank Dr. Odunga for what he has done for me. The first 12 years of my marriage I had 5 miscarriages and I was called all sorts of names by my mother-in-law and this made my marriage life very hectic and a burden of sorrow. I contacted Dr. Odunga for help and I will say that he is a very strong and honest man and he indeed helped me solve my problem. I saw his email in a testimony and I contacted him, little did I know it would be the end of all my problems. After 2 days of contact, I received a fertility herb and he told me to use it. The herb worked and my husband even loved me more and bought me expensive things. One afternoon, I went to a nearby hospital and came back home with the positive result of my pregnancy and after 9 months I gave birth to a baby boy. Ever since I contacted Dr. Odunga, my story has been different. I have 3 children at present and I am very happy in my marriage. Please, contact him at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com OR Whats App him +2348167159012 to help you too
I have been suffering from Herpes for the past 1 years and 8 months, and ever since then I have been taking series of treatment but there was no improvement until I came across testimonies of Dr. Silver on how he has been curing different people from different diseases all over the world, then I contacted him as well. After our conversation he sent me the medicine which I took according to his instructions. When I was done taking the herbal medicine I went for a medical checkup and to my greatest surprise I was cured from Herpes. My heart is so filled with joy. If you are suffering from Herpes or any other disease you can contact Dr. Silver today on this Email address: drsilverhealingtemple@gmail.com or Whatsapp +2348120513902
this is the best spell caster i know He cast spells for different purposes like
(1) If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dream
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) HIV/AIDS CURE
(10) is the only answer to that your problem of winning the lottery
Contact him today on oseremenspelltemple@gmail.com
HELLO, IS POSSIBLE TO RECOVER YOUR LOST BITCOIN, I JUST WANT TO SHARE TESTIMONY OF HOW / OPTIMISTIC HACKER GAIUS HELPED ME RECOVER MY LOST USD
My Name is Michael Thomas and I am From Wonderland, UK . After losing over $540k USD in a pig slaughtering theft last month, I was contacted by a phony broker who introduced me to trade signals. I decided to give it a shot because they said I could make around 15% profit on my trades. I made money with small investments at first, but as I wanted to invest large sums, I discovered that I was unable to access my trade or take my gains, which is when I realized I had been duped. Then, even though the internet is dangerous, I went online. Fortunately, after doing a thorough search, I discovered http:/optimistichackergaius.com , who had a lot of good asset recovery reviews. I hired them, and in a matter of hours, I was able to recover my money After that, even though the internet is dangerous, I went online and luckily found http://optimistichackergaius.com They had a lot of good reviews on asset recovery, so I hired them, and I was able to recover some of my losses in a matter of hours. Get in touch..
Email.. optimistichackergaius@seznam.cz
Telegram.. t.me/OPTIMISTICHACKERGAIUSS