Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again,
my Savior and my God.
Dear Christian Woman, You are Not Alone.
I don’t often know why I become depressed. But I suppose it is much like catching a cold. You’re all fine one day and the next day, the symptoms creep in unwelcomed. At least, that is what my depression often feels like, rather random and lacking much reason.
David’s words echo in my mind, “Why are you downcast, O my soul?” Like King David, I often find myself searching for the reason behind my affliction. But in the end, it’s not so much the why that matters but rather the ever present hope through depression, that is found in the Lord.
With that said, even though the why may be allusive, the what and the how are more concrete. Depression is worth understanding. There are many misconceptions around this mental illness, and knowledge is life saving, literally.
I can only speak to what I’ve experienced in my own life. You may have many similarities or little in common. But the absolute commonality is that you are not alone. Some struggles may be unique as an individual, but you are far from being the only one that has experienced the internal pain and crippling emotions. There is help and there is always hope through depression.
Acknowledging the Need for Help
As a young adult I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression. But at the time my main problem was not wanting to accept it and get help. Even though I briefly saw a psychiatrist and took some prescribed medication, I quickly jumped ship and was determined to do things my own way.
I did not want to take medicine. And furthermore, I did not want to tell anyone, especially a doctor, the truth of what went on in my head.
Things evened out a bit as some circumstances bettered, and there were some lifestyle improvements. My symptoms were subdued, almost into a slumber. But it was temporary.
At 23 I married my husband and after a couple years we became the proud parents of a little girl. And then quite unexpectedly she became a big sister only 14 months later. I struggled with not only Postpartum Depression but also Postpartum Anxiety.
But still I was terrified to get the help which I desperately needed. I was in denial of how much I was really hurting. It took the continued, steadfast love of my husband, and the vulnerability of some dear hearts in my mom community to finally admit this dire plight to myself. I needed help and that was not a bad thing.
I was not less of a woman, a mom, wife, or a Christian for having a problem. My struggle with depression did not define me. We are guaranteed to have strife on this Earth. So why should it be so surprising that mental health can be included in that equation?
The Road to Recovery Begins with Acceptance
Slowly, I began the road of recovery. But I still had the underlying clinical depression which needed addressed. It took many more years to fully accept my health struggles and continually seek help. There’s no one size fits all, and there’s no insta cure.
Mental illnesses are a journey that require continued attention. Really, with any aspect of our health, maintenance is necessary. Depression is my struggle. Once I accepted that, and found tools to help me be healthy, my quality of life soared.
You know, depression is really somewhat of a misnomer. It’s not just some serious sadness that lingers. Yes, at times sadness may be a factor, but this is not a definition or an all encompassing symptom.
My frequent symptoms that arise are: fatigue, lack of motivation, isolation, wanting to sleep all the time, guilt, anger, irritability, and feeling like a failure. Sometimes these are accompanied with feeling overwhelmed and anxiety. It’s not fun, but it does not mean I’m bad or broken beyond repair.
I used to feel so ashamed for having these struggles. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about my illness it’s that depression is a liar. Depression says, no one cares, you’re not worth it, and life is too hard.
God says, I care, you are beyond worth, and I will give you strength. Depression makes you want to hide and sucks joy out of the everyday. God is so good that He seeks us and patiently waits for us to stretch out our arms.
There’s also something I want to clarify. Depression is not a lack of Faith. It’s not a punishment. And it does not define you. Depression is a health issue and part of the nature of our fallen world. But even if you feel hopeless, there is always hope through depression, and there’s always help. You matter. You are loved.
Put Into Action the Tools Necessary to Help You Heal
From my experience, my faith has been the biggest starting point of help. Through prayer my heart was opened to receiving the love of my family and friends. With the support of community I was then able to speak openly of hurt and struggles. To do this without fear of judgement helped me heal, grow, and keep myself accountable.
Like a cold, depression crops up again and again. Sometimes less frequently or severely than other times, but it’s not just a one and done scenario. In the past couple years I have found that the more I am aware and accept my feelings (rather than try to minimize or berate myself for feeling poorly) the better I utilize the tools to regain optimum health.
One of the biggest tools is open and honest communication. My doctors are now my BFFs and I’m so thankful for their kindness and gentleness in adjusting the best course of action.
Also, telling my husband that I’m starting to feel low is super helpful. You wouldn’t try to keep any other illness a secret from the person you love, would you?
And I’ve also come to realize the power of words.
Acknowledge, Accept, and Act
It’s okay to feel bad. It’s okay to have negative thoughts. But, don’t stay there. Acknowledge, accept, and then act on the truth.
One of the most powerful things for me to realize is that I don’t need to keep negative thoughts in my mind. I don’t need to feel guilty that they pop up, but I do have the option to clean house.
For me, prayer, Bible verses, and encouraging words been life giving and transformative.
This is why I share with you.
Dear friend, if you are struggling, don’t try to go it alone.
Prayer:
Dear Lord, thank you for holding us in the palm of your hand. You know all our pain. You’ve created community for us to not struggle alone. You love us beyond comprehension and one day we can join you in a place of no tears.
To view all of the topics in this series, check out our Stories of Hope page, and discover how others have chosen to live a life of hope, despite life’s greatest challenges!
Sara is a Christ follower, military wife, and mother to three. She loves to encourage everyone she meets and especially uplift the women in her life.
You can connect with Sara at any of the following places. Saralaurenlewis.com | Facebook | Instagram
Time to link arms and #linkup! Join us for our #StoriesOfHope series, and be encouraged as you link up your own hope-filled posts! Share on X
Let’s Link Arms by Linking Up!
- Linkup 1-2 inspiring, family-friendly, posts using the Inlinkz tool below.
- Visit the link directly in front of you, leave a comment and share/pin their post.
- PRAY for the person directly in front of you!!
Sara, thank you for sharing your story here.
I struggled with PPD after the birth of my first two sons, and was too proud (or stubborn?) to admit that I needed help. My early mothering days could have been very different.
Blessings to you, and thanks, Rachel, for this great series.
Michele,
When we share our stories, it will help others so much! Nothing is wasted 🙂
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Sara,
Thank you for sharing. I love your thoughts – Acknowledge, Accept, and Act. Although I have never had a mental illness, I love dearly those that suffer from them. I have to say it has been an honor to be allowed to walk alongside some of the bravest, strongest people one might ever meet. You go girl.
It has been my passion to help families go the distance and not give up on their loved ones. Together we can all help each other.
Blessings,
Maree
Thanks for your kind words, Maree! We need more encouragers!
Thank you for sharing your story. I love how you say that you don’t have to feel guilty that bad thoughts pop in your head but that you don’t have to keep them there. This is a lesson we all can glean from this whether we endure depression or not. My son suffers with some type of mental illness but we aren’t exactly clear what. (He’s 8 so it can be hard to determine what’s going on). Through it all, though, I’ve always had hope that the Lord will use him in a great way just as he is. Isn’t it amazing that there isn’t any affliction too great to take away the hope and peace that only our savior can provide?!
Crystal,
You are such a good mama! The knowledge you already have will help your son leaps and bounds. And it is so true that God’s strength can shine through anything!
Thank you Sara for writing this, and Rachel for hosting! Such a needed subject today! Pinned! And thank you for hosting the link-up Rachel!
So glad you are talking about such an important topic!
Sarah, I’m so glad you shared your story and offered clarification and encouragement for others. I particularly appreciate pointing us toward the fact that we live in a fallen world, and these ailments aren’t fixed by more faith or more doing to get it right. Grateful you have found both healing and courage to be a voice for anyone who needs hope in this.
Thank you for sharing your heartfelt and touching story, Sara. I think as a young mother, I didn’t suffer from depression as much as anxiety. I constantly worried about the well-being of my children. I eventually found my way, much as you are. You are encouraging other young moms by letting them know they are not alone.
Sarah, thank you for encouraging those who struggle with depression. I, too, have been on the dark side of depression and I still struggle with anxiety. Your words are sure to encourage many women! Tweeted and Pinned.
I so agree. No one is alone in depression, even though it feels like it. I have several members in my family who suffer with depression and I know it is a hard road to walk, but it’s made worse when someone feels alone. 🙁
As a Christian I feel like the stigma is so much harder with depression. When I admit it people step in to offer faith as the fix… but it isn’t about how much faith I have. That is something I wish people got. Thanks for this, it was so encouraging!
Thank you for having the courage to speak out loud. If more people would it would destigmatize mental health in the church. laurensparks.net
Sara, you are an incredible person. Thank you for sharing so openly with us all. And thank you for sharing what depression REALLY is… it isn’t about having more faith. It’s about using the tools and wisdom and truth of God, all combined, in order to figure out the best process for each individual. These words of yours were sooooo good!
Thanks dear Sister! 🙂
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