**This post is written and published with both the approval of, and permission by, my sis!**
Learning to navigate same-sex relationships is a challenging subject, but the truth is, most us know of someone who identifies as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. Whether it’s a coworker, neighbor, friend or even a family member.
And If not— chances are, you soon will.
As the LGBTQ community continues to grow in number and prominence, the question isn’t whether or not we’ll ever meet someone who identifies as such, but rather, as believers, how will we respond to those in same-sex relationships when we do?
The question as Christian's isn't whether or not we'll ever have friends or family in same-sex relationships, but rather HOW will we respond when we do. Click here for 3 biblically inspired ways to respond to loved ones in same-sex… Share on X
Coming Out
My sister first “came out” thirteen years ago. Her initial announcement casually took place over lunch at a local fast food restaurant, after I naively asked about the rainbow patches that generously adorned her jacket.
To say that I was shocked to hear her announce that she was gay, is an understatement.
I was both surprised and confused. How could this be?
We both grew up in the same christian home, attended the same church, read the same bible, and were taught the same Sunday school lessons.
Admittedly, I didn’t know what to say or how to react, and so I merely did what felt the safest- I changed the subject.
I wonder if you can relate?
My Conundrum
A lot of time has passed since that day.
Over the years, I have watched as my sister began openly engaging in same-sex relationships, and eventually started the process of changing her gender, including dressing as a male, changing her name, injecting herself with testosterone, growing facial hair, and finally, the removal of her breasts.
It has been hard.
On the one hand, I want to cry from the rooftops, “please don’t do this!” But on the other hand, my heart beckons me to quietly love.
Lessons Learned
I have been asked on many occasions, how our family responds to my sister’s choices.
My answer is simple:
Jesus’ greatest commandment was to love God, and to love one another, even as we love ourselves.
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 37-39)
This sounds much easier than it actually is.
In some cases, the gospel seems to be a foggy shade of gray, instead of a stark black and white.
I’ve always known what we are called to do.. love.. but practically speaking, I haven’t always known how to.
And while I certainly don’t claim to be an expert on the matter, and I’ve definitely not always gotten it right, I am happy to share what lessons I’ve learned along the way..
I am sharing my heart over at Melanie Redd’s encouraging blog this week. Join me?
Continue reading ===>>> Same-sex Relationships: Biblical Response to Gay Friends or Family
Love you, sis!
Heading over now, Rachel! You are hitting on a touchy subject to many, but it sounds as if you have dealt with it with the grace and love of God! Kudos to you for striking that tension!
Thank you Beth. I appreciate your support! 🙂
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This has been something I’ve struggled with for a long time. I always have believed that everyone deserves respect and love but it hurt my relationship with Christ because I watched so many people proclaim to be His followers and treat others with such hatefulness. This post helps a lot. Thank you.
I’m so glad it helped you, Emma. It really is a complicated issue, isn’t it? Even the topic of “love” is complex. What does it look like to love like Christ anyway? The struggle is REAL!!
This has led to an ongoing conversation with the Lord. Praying A LOT, and listening for His prompting in every situation.
I can’t say that I have all the answers.. but I’m willing to learn from Him, as He shows me the way.
The way I see it, love ALWAYS wins!
Thank you for your encouraging comment. <3
Touchy, touchy subject for sure! I have had two coworkers who are homosexual and gay and they are great people! While I enjoyed conversations with them, I did not and do not condone their sexual orientation.
While the Bible says much about the homosexual lifestyle, it is Holy Spirit’s work to convict sinners to repentance.
This is certainly complicated but loving people, no matter what their ‘sin’ is, is showing Christ’ love through us to them. Really, when we come right down to it, sin is sin. And I sin too, even though I don’t intend to. We all fall short of the glory of God. Who is going to throw the first stone at me?
You’ve given me much to think about. <3
Rachel, both you and your sister are brave in sharing this post. It is a touchy subject for sure and affects all of us in one way or another. May we all remember God’s love is the most powerful thing we can offer one another. We may not agree, we may not condone, but we surely can love and that is what Jesus has called us to do. May God bless you and your sister in the years ahead with a greater love than ever before. Blessings!
He. Misgendering can cause suicide in transgender men and women. That’s not your goal if I’m correct?
The subject of suicide is a horrendous one. Young, old, in-between, commit suicide every day, for all manner of reasons. It is heartbreaking. . . And it is beyond anything I would ever wish to imagine, let alone experience, for myself, for family and loved ones left behind to pick up the collateral damage; fragmented pieces of an irreparably broken heart and deeply confused mind! Suicide has tragic consequences for everyone. . .
Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father but by Me.” And, “If the Son sets you free you will be free indeed.”
Christ came to die for us because He loves us and wants us to “have life and to have it more abundantly”, not because He hates us. Telling the truth, therefore, is the most LOVING thing we can ever do.
That’s the truth.
God bless you.
Thanks for this thoughtful piece. Love is always the first response to anything! laurensparks.net
Rachel, thanks so much for your bravery and your sister’s too in sharing this!
Yes, love is what is most important. Thank you for being brave and sharing on such an important topic.
I am blessed to be your neighbor at #Tellhisstory this week. My Aunt (who was more like a big sister to me growing up) has been in a same-sex relationship for over 40 years. Through that time, there have been many ups and downs in her relationships with all of the family. But always, it is as you say, the loving like Jesus does that brings us back together again. Thank you for these precious encouragements today!
Thanks for sharing Rachel. I think one of the greatest gifts we can give others is to remember our own sin before we shun them for theirs. Mine is ever before me which always prompts me to show empathy towards others – as I love them through what they’re going through. We’re all deceived at some level right? Which is why we need Truth. Thanks for writing on a tough subject and encouraging love above all. “We love, because He first loved us.”
I will head over to read the post, but I do think you’re exactly right. Even though it may be difficult, God calls on us to love. Christ’s love for us is unconditional. This should be our goal too.
Rachel, thank you for writing on such a sensitive subject. As believers we are always called to love. Period. Acting hateful does nothing but harm the cause of Christ.
Walking that fine line between love and acceptance yet NOT condoning sin requires being at the feet of Jesus! Only He knows how to handle these situations! May God be with you each step of the way, and with each of us who have relatives and loved ones living non-biblical lifestyles.
A very thoughtful post about a controversial issue. I agree Christians need to respond with more love in this issue. Thanks for sharing on the #LMMLInkup this week. Your post tied for most clicked.
I see it as why would we as believers hold non believers to our standards? When people are living in sin telling them they are sinning isn’t going to change them. I had a lot of friends who were gay and they knew where I stood biblically on the topic but they also didn’t feel as if I hated them due to their choice.
Wow, Rachel, this must be hard but I just read your post over at Melanie’s and I love how you encourage us to love like Jesus did — standing by our truth and loving regardless.
Thanks for sharing your experience in a way that points us to Christ.
Blessings to you!
how about you don’t misgender your brother do you know how much that hurts
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