I have a confession to make.
I have a tendency to be a people-pleaser. I often do things because I think it’s what is expected of me, not necessarily because I feel strongly about it.
In the blogging community, we are inundated with expectations.
-Expected to write meaningful essays that meet a specific need within our audience.
-Expected to meet deadlines.
-Expected to build relationships.
-Expected to be consistent.
-Expected to make lasting impressions.
So on and so forth.
With the holidays quickly approaching, I began to feel the weight of expectation once again.
Beginning somewhere in mid-October, my newsfeed became overpopulated with articles written on the topic of Thanksgiving. So I assumed I should probably do the same.
And I tried.
I thought long and hard. I tapped in to my memory bank. I made a plan.
I added specific themes to my idea book. I read similar articles on the topic for inspiration. I even researched the word, thanksgiving in order to gain a deeper understanding of its meaning.
I studied the scriptures, and meditated on verses about giving thanks, especially in the Psalms.
And I prayed. A lot. Everyday.
But I had nothing. NOTHING.
Each time I tried to put my pen to paper, (or in this case, my fingers to keyboard), I drew a blank.
How is it I can’t seem to write about a holiday designated to giving thanks? I thought to myself.
It’s not as if I’m not thankful. On the contrary, I have MUCH to be thankful for! I know this. So, what is my problem?
“Why is this so hard?” I asked aloud.
That’s when I heard it. His still, small, familiar voice.
“Because you’re trying too hard”, He said. “You’re trying to write about an expression that can only be released from the overflow of your heart, not out of compulsion. It cannot be forced.“
It was as if a lightbulb went off.
He was right, of course. And I immediately felt the burdensome weight of expectation lift from off my shoulders.
From that moment on, I determined that I would release my self-inflicted expectation to write something meaningful about thanksgiving, and would instead give myself to simply expressing my thanks to the One from whom all blessings flow.
And I did.
And in the process I became increasingly aware of what it means to be truly thankful from a posture of gratitude versus expectation. #gratitude #thankful Share on X
Almost as if to drive the point home, the Lord reminded me of an interaction I had with one of my children not very long ago.
Have you ever had to coax thanks-giving out of a child? As parents we do this often, don’t we?
Little Johnny receives a gift, but forgets to say thank you. Ashamed of our child’s behavior, we quickly chime in.
“What do you say, Johnny?”
A sideways glance at his mother indicates that he is fully aware of his mishap. With a roll of his eyes, he grudgingly says “thaaaaank you,” before tearing off out the back door to play with his friends.
He doesn’t say thank you because he feels thankful. He says it because he is forced to.
And just like that, the “thanks” suddenly loses its meaning.
I suspect it’s no different with us.
Thanks-giving loses it’s validity when it’s given from a place of expectation. Jesus doesn’t want us to feel obligated to give thanks. He wants it to come naturally, from a place of true gratitude.
Out of the overflow of our hearts.
Luke 6:45 says, for the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
So, let me ask you this- what is your heart full of?
On most days if I’m being honest, thanksgiving would not be on the list of things that have a tendency to take up space inside my heart.
Anxiety, stress, worry, doubt, overwhelm- yes.
But thanks? Not so much.
Truth be told, we’re not always thankful for what we’re given, are we? Life is not all roses all the time. Life is sometimes hard. It’s full of broken relationships, ailing health, financial struggles, wayward children, loss of loved ones, and an abundance of questions.
If this is the case, then how does one cultivate a heart of thanksgiving? Is it even possible?
I’ve read countless articles listing practical ways of cultivating a thankful heart this season. All of them good! Truly. However, most of the ideas mentioned were geared toward helping us focus on all we have been given.
But for me, personally, I found that merely focusing on what I have to be thankful for, is not enough.
My home, my family, my health, my job, my friendships, my church- all things to be thankful for.
And I am.
But I’m convinced that being thankful is less about the gift, and more about the Giver.
What happens if/when all the things we are thankful for fade away? Do we cease to be thankful?
Psalm 73:26 says, My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
If He is my portion, than I ought to be able to give thanks regardless of my situation. #gratitude #thanksinallthings #blessed #thankful Share on X
I don’t know about you, but I want my thanks to come from a place of true overflow. The only way I can think to do that, is by focusing on the GIVER of all good things.
We turn our eyes to Jesus…
How does that song of old go?
Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Look full on His wonderful face.
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
in the light of His glory and grace.
We turn our eyes to the Giver.
One last thought before we go- something I recently learned- offering thanks is simply a form of worship. And do you know what worship is?
The most prominent use of the word worship in the bible is proskuneo, which is greek for, to kiss.
When we give thanks, we worship. When we worship, we kiss.
Kissing requires a posture of change. Coming close. Pressing in.
It is an intermingling of our hearts with His. An act of intimacy like no other.
And is the truest form of thanks we can possibly give.
This holiday season, as we give thanks to the Father of all good things, let us worship Him out of the overflow of love in our hearts, not only for what He gives, but more importantly for WHO HE IS.
Let us offer Him the highest form of thanks possible- let us thank Him with a kiss.
Ironically, my failed attempt to write a meaningful essay on the topic of thanksgiving, led me to a deep personal experience, that turned into a meaningful thanksgiving essay after all.
Our God does work in mysterious ways….;)
Happy Thanksgiving y’all!
Loved this refreshing and heart-felt reminder about being thankful for WHO HE IS. What a beautiful (and much needed) perspective. It reminds me of the verse, “The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God endures forever.” Isaiah 40:8. Our earthly blessings may come and go, but His goodness and mercy is eternal. Thank you for sharing!
Yes! Beautifully stated, Amy. I’m so glad this encouraged you, as it did me. HE IS GOOD!!!
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. Thanks for visiting today. <3
We can always give thanks to the Lord who is our potion and the giver of all! I love that. Thanks for sharing this learning experience here with us. God bless!
Thanks, Cathy. Glad you stopped by. 😉
I completely understand about feeling the pressure to write about a specific topic. I recently felt like God told me I needed to return to my purpose for writing, which is pointing to Him and encouraging at least one person with my words. Like you said, it’s about the Giver!
Yes! I whole-heartedly agree. Keep focused on the call God has given us. Thanks Emily. 🙂
Hi Rachel, I can SO relate to what you went through! Thank you for your honesty. You have pointed us in the right direction this thanksgiving season … “But I’m convinced that being thankful is less about the gift, and more about the Giver.”
Thank you Alyson. I appreciate you visiting this morning.
It can be hard. we get so wrapped up in what everyone else is doing, and think we should conform. I’m grateful that God taught me this important lesson. (And gave me a blog post out of it, in the end.) I’m purposing to focus on the Giver this season!
Blessings to you and yours this holiday season!
So glad you shared the story behind the post! Thank you! I used to try to write posts based on perceived expectations too- God lovingly corrected me in a similar manner. If it’s not overflow out of authentic relationship with Him, it’s not for me to write! You describe that so well here…and then your thoughts on thanksgiving are so profound too. I especially appreciate this concept: ” thankful from a posture of gratitude versus expectation.”
Thank you, and I’m thanking the Giver with you!
Thank you so much, for the wonderful encouragement, Bethany! It means so much. 😉
God has had to lovingly correct me a few times, as well. I have to remember what HE has called me to write, and stick to that.
Thanks for visiting today! Happy Thanksgiving!
Thank you for sharing this. I can totally relate to all of it! Focusing on the Giver instead of just the gifts is absolutely necessary. The Lord wants us to know him intimately and love him intensely. If we look beyond what he provides to the attributes of the Provider, our hearts will overflow with love and our relationship with him will deepen.
Yes, absolutely yes, Annie! I could not agree more. Thank goodness He is patient with us!
Praying that together, we are able to focus on the Giver this Thanksgiving! May our hearts sing His praise!
Thank you for the kind words, friend. <3
So lovely, and yes yes yes to this:
“Because you’re trying too hard”, He said. “You’re trying to write about an expression that can only be released from the overflow of your heart, not out of compulsion. It cannot be forced.“
I feel the same pressure around holidays! Blessings to you!
Thank you, Bonnie! I appreciate you stopping by here today, and encouraging me!
Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!
This is so beautiful. I’m never at a loss for words or what to write, which I am thankful for but there are areas I have to work on and I too, know I’m trying to hard. Spiritual gifts are ours for the asking we just have to receive, He doesn’t force anything. I love the kiss definition, I’m a wordy. Lovely post, Happy Thanksgiving!
Ha! Love that you’re a “wordy” like myself! Thank you for the thoughtful words today, Rebecca! I appreciate you. 🙂
May you have a blessed Thanksgiving!
Rachel, what a beautiful post! I, too, have strove (?) to come up with the perfect holiday post at one point or another. I’ve been one who struggles with trying to live up to others’ expectations. I’m so thankful that they aren’t God’s expectations. When we have hearts that are genuinely thankful to God, it changes our perspective, doesn’t it?
I LOVED what you shared about the kiss and worship. I’d never heard that before. I love it. The intimacy…changing position to draw close and press in.
Profound.
Jeanne, Thank you for your inspiring words! I really appreciate you taking a moment to stop by.
Yes, so thankful that my self-inflicted expectations, are not God’s! His ways are always better.
The meaning of the word, worship, was a new one for me as well. I love it when a particular word definition brings rich revelation!
Praying you have a wonderful Thanksgiving! <3
It was perfect timing for reminding me our writing needs to come from the overflow. I can’t seem to think of a thing to write about in December.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Maree
Maree, I’ll be praying for you, in this regards! It can be so difficult, can’t it? Feeling like we ought to write about a specific topic, or even just feeling the lack of inspiration, period. My suggestion to you, (and to myself as well), is to spend more time in the throne room. I find that when I do, He ALWAYS gives me fresh inspiration. He IS the creator of all things inspired, after all!
Can’t wait to hear what He gives you, sweet friend. 🙂
Happy Thanksgiving to you!
Rachel, I love the point you made about thanks being an act of worship and then to liken that to a kiss. How beautiful and intimate that is! Thank you so much for being vulnerable and real, that’s the kind of heart God loves to bless!
Wishing you a beautiful Thanksgiving.
And by the way, I just saw your sweet comment on Jaime Wiebel’s site and I wanted to let you know I appreciate your prayers for our rebuilding. Much love!
Marva, thanks for stopping by here this morning! You are so very welcome. I can’t imagine the kind of loss you have endured. I love reading about all the ways God is using this time to grow your faith, and remind you of HIS faithfulness in the process! He is SO good!
Thanks for the kind words. Praying you have a wonderful Thanksgiving! <3
My goodness, this was just what I needed today. Thank you, Rachel! It’s funny how you wrote about what’s expected in the blogging community. I am rather new to blogging and I have being feeling the whole “expectation” thing. I feel like it’s a “game” I have to play and all I want to do is write and give glory to Jesus. I wasn’t even going to do a holiday post and then in an unscripted manner God laid one on my heart. So, I just love your words today and know exactly what you mean!
Susan, I know just what you mean! I am new to the blogging community as well, and although I had a fairly good idea of what all that entailed, (I did a year of research and training beforehand), I was still surprised at just how much was expected. It can be difficult to keep up on all of it, especially if you have a family at home who depends on their mama being present. 😉 It DOES feel somewhat like a game- or as I like to refer to it- a dance. I’m with you- all I want to do is write for Jesus! But in order to be heard, I have to first be read. And in order to be read, we have to do the dance.
I’ve come to learn that spending time with Jesus, and hearing from Him, is what’s most important. He will tell me what to focus on,from one week to another, and how to prioritize my time to get the best results. The thing is- He is a miracle-working God, and if He wants my writings to minister to the lives of women, then He will make sure that it does just that. I can leave the results up to Him. This doesn’t free me from doing my part, but it does free me from trying so hard.
Thanks so much for stopping by. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone! 😉
I love the comparison of forced thank you’s from kids! They are polite, necessary, and expected…but not the same as real gratitude or excitement.
Thanks for the reminder to look in on ourselves and look to God for gratitude.
Hope you and your family have a great holiday season. <3
Thank you, Lexie! I appreciate your thoughts. Blessings to you and yours this season, as well. 🙂
What a great addition to Literacy Musing Mondays this past week! I had never thought about making my children say thanks from this perspective. Enlightening.
Thank you Tami! I appreciate it. 🙂 Glad you stopped by today!
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